Life...

Warning: This may make you mad or sound like I am complaining... so if you don't want to hear it... don't read it!! : )

Ok... I am having a hard time understanding why things are the way they are... BACKWARDS!!! I know that most of you that are reading this know us personally or can relate to our situation, but it really urks me that there is NO help out there for us to support Baker. Sure, there is SSI, but that is only because Derek and I make hardly any money. And what we get, doesn't even cover our electric bill. You see, Baker isn't considered disabled because he isn't 18 years old, so we can't just get disability for him. (Which is SO stupid!!! Cause he is in EVERY sense of the word, disabled.) The only reason we keep him on the SSI is because we HAVE to keep his insurance. Just to rent his equipment a month plus his supplies that we get monthly is out of this world!!! Think about it... rentals on a ventilator, humidifier, suction machine, feed pump, oxygen concentrator, pulse ox machine, plus the equipment that we don't use on a daily basis. Then we get suction catheters, trachs, gauze, syringes, water bags, feed bags, feeding tubes, trach kits, vent circuits, etc... the list goes on and on.

I guess it is so hard for me because, I want to work, Derek and I both. We want to be able to support our family like any other normal family would!! We both want to work full time jobs, and send our child to day care and have to worry about bruised knees, or boo- boos. We already have to deal with the stress and challenges of dealing with a child with special needs, but to have to deal with keeping a roof over our heads, or paying bills, or having food to eat because we are being punished because we have a sick child is just wrong. What is wrong with this world when the people that NEED the help can't get it and the ones who don't need it get all the help in the world???

Baker is 3 years old and we have just recently found out about another program called the Elderly and Disabled Waiver... but guess what... Covington County doesn't offer the respid care that Baker requires. SERIOUSLY??? I just knew that EDW would be the answer to many prayers... but now, I don't know what to do, where to turn, how to make things better! I feel like I am lost!

Most people know me as a bright, cheerful person, but if you really knew me in the privacy of my own home, you would know that I am always worried, about Baker, school, bills, working just enough hours, forms that have to be filled out all the time doctors appointments to make, trips to Birmingham, etc. Life just seems to be throwing me punches left and right, and just when I get back onto my feet, I get an upper cut to the jaw! and Back down I go!

I'm not trying to play a pity party, but I just want people to realize what we have to go through daily!! And when you think things in life are hard, try walking in someone else's shoes!! Even I have to do that! I wouldn't wish this on any child! I am so tired of having to defend/fight for my child and our situation. These so called "jokes" shouldn't be told and when they are, they should apologize, expecially from a business. (I am really trying to let that one go, but it is HARD) It is just wrong! Something has got to be done!! I don't know what else to do other than praying and Begging God for help! He has never let us down and just when we think there is no hope, He always pulls through! We don't have the extra's but we have what we need!

I feel like there is more that I want to say or need to say, but I guess I have said too much! I guess this is my cry out for help... I don't know!

Once again... Sorry for putting it all out there!!!

Beating ALL odds!!!

I am proud to say that I am the mother of a THREE year old!! Gosh! I can't believe how far he has come in the past 3 years and how much our lives have changed because of him!! Baker has taught us more about life in the last 3 years than I have learned in my lifetime! I Love him SO much!!!

Here is a picture of Baker... He was a month old and had just had his first surgery. This was also the first time we saw his face with nothing on it... no tape, wires, or tubes!!
And here is my 3 year old!! He was loving those balloons!!
I plan to have some time tomorrow to post his party pictures... It has been a crazy and LONG weekend!

Mother's Day weekend and Party Planning...

Well Mother's day was this past weekend and it was an action packed weekend. Friday, I had to work at the hospital until 9 and then go over and meet our other friends to play a little "friendly" game of Catch Phrase! Needless to say, Girls Won!! AGAIN!!! ;) Well we tried not to stay too late cause Baker had a party Saturday morning. Recently, it has been hard for Derek and I to get things going in the morning... and when we have a timeline that we need to make, we are bound to be late. And late, we were... 45 minutes late! I was NOT a happy Camper!!! I HATE being Late to ANYTHING!!! Derek, on the other hand will be late to everything!! Party was so much fun and the kids had a blast! Rylee had a huge water slide and tons of Tiki stuff!! Amy and Brady did a Great Job!

After the party, we came home to wait for the rest of the family to eat and then we went swimming at Mom's. We all grilled out and just had a Great time being together! Derek and I braved the water with the kids and got in the FREEZING pool with Baker, but Baker LOVED it!!! Of course I forgot my camera...

The next morning, we went to church and eat with the other side of my family. But we weren't able to stay too late cause we had to make it to Derek's family get together at the lake. That was lots of fun! The weather was perfect. It was warm, but with the wind, it wasn't that bad in the shade! Needless to say, when we got home from the lake, we were exhausted... but unfortunately for me, I had finals and a final lab practical the next day. (Which I did pretty good on)

Well That was the recap of my weekend. I will have new post after this next weekend. Baker is having his 3rd Birthday party Friday night... I can't believe it! We have been working hard on it for a while and I can't wait to see how the party turns out!!!! Check back later!!!

Easter Day

Well, thankfully Easter day was much better than the Saturday drama!! Since Derek got the van fixed after the pulley broke, (or so we thought) we were able to enjoy our Easter Sunday!! The morning started with the Easter Bunny coming for a visit!!

Here is Baker's Basket...
As you can see, He was excited...
His favorite things were the webble wobble toys that go in the pool!!
After we did the whole Easter Bunny thing, we started getting ready in our Easter clothes! I was really excited to wear my new dress... I have been going to the gym and doing Zumba and really working on myself and I had lost 15 pounds in just the month of of April, So when we bought the dress smaller than my usual size, and it fit, I was so SO happy!!
Here is a picture of us dressed and ready for church!

And of course our family pictures...
Ok!! And one more... even though it was blurry, I really like this picture!!